“it is as if the mind draws a veil across itself. there are parts of my memory of that time that are still missing, including books that i supposedly read. when i came to look at them i discovered that they were almost entirely unfamiliar. it is the same with films. parts of them are eerily familiar, so much so that i get an immediate sense of deja vu, but i have no recollection of the beginning or the end or even the middle of the story. there are conversations i have had, or that people have told me i have had, that are quite blank to me and i am apt to grow confused about the chronology of months, or even years. mercifully, some might say, for depression is not a place to linger.

by contrast, other parts of my memory of that time are still acute enough to mean that i have only to pass certain places or smell certain scents to feel intense pain. it returns at an almost cellular level. it is as if both my body and mind remember, and i believe that depressive illness is both physical and mental, that the body is capable of holding on to memories and experiences that the mind wishes to forget.”

-sally brampton, shoot the damn dog

@2 years ago